The characters featured do not belong to me. This work is not for profit and meant as artistic expression inspired by the original work.
An Unexpected Connection
by Beth
(Snape and Magrat, for bekithewitch>)
Note: I seem to have acquired a well-defined Snape from somewhere. Anyone missing theirs?
"I'm sure we can send you back, and if not, Granny knows wizards in Ankh-Morpork who make holes in the time-space continuum all the time."
Snape did his best to tune out the witch's chatter. Garlick was the most agreeable of the local coven, but that was only because she neither reminded him of Voldemort or ogled his arse (and he still didn't know how that Ogg woman had managed it through three layers of robes). Otherwise, he would have to check whether Lockhart had ever gotten Trelawney pregnant.
"Do you want some soothing herbal tea?"
Great, now she was threatening to cook. "What's in it?"
"St Ungulant's Wort, dance-in-the-fog, goatcouncil and powdered Counting Pine bark."
Snape frowned. "That's... wait. Did you gather the goatcouncil at midnight with a silver-handled knife tempered in mountain spring water?"
"Oh, not at all. If you use your left hand and hold it blade-down, you can use an ebony-handled one. It doesn't get scratched so easily." Magrat lifted the knife to demonstrate. The blade was easily a foot long.
Snape noticed other things in the dark corner where the herbs hung. Cauldrons, mortars, stirrers, vials...
"You know," he said slowly, "you could add a pinch of beetle root to that tea..."
He'd call Magrat's smile innocent if he didn't know she was a Ramtop witch. "And mandrake infusion?"
"And pixie wings."
"I'm vegetarian."
"Amanita?"
"Please."
x o x o x o x o x o x
Some people tell of the cave troll. Others recall Sirius Black loose in the halls. But all agree neither of those incidents holds a candle to the night Severus Snape stumbled out of the Great Hall fireplace with a witch-queen on one arm and a many-tentacled creature from the Dungeon Dimensions on the other, singing "The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All".
~FINIS~