The Truth
Overview
A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on.
[passim]
Good old Dame Fortune. You can depend on her.
[p. 15]
Two figures watched his departure from the rooftop opposite.
One of them said very, very quietly, "----!"
[p. 39 of hardback, submitted by Ty Burgess]
'My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent.' [said Vetinari]
Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.
[p. 47]
'Look out of the window. Tell me what you see.'
'Fog,' said the Chief Priest.
Vetinari sighed. Sometimes the weather had no sense of narrative convenience.
[p. 47]
"A thousand years ago we thought the world was a bowl. Five hundred years
ago we knew it was a globe. Today we know it is flat and round carried
through space on the back of a turtle. Don't you wonder what shape it will
turn out to be tomorrow?"
[p. 49 Vetinari]
He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.
[p. 93, submitted by Dieter Boehm]
'This device is provided without warranty of any kind as to reliability, accuracy, existence or otherwise or fitness for any particular purpose and Bioalchemic Products specifically does not warrant, guarantee, imply or make any representations as to its merchantability for any particular purpose and furthermore shall have no liability for or responsibility to you or any other person, entity or deity with respect of any loss or damage whatsoever caused by this device or object or by any attempts to destroy it by hammering it against a wall or dropping it into a deep well or any other means whatsoever and moreover asserts that you indicate your acceptance of this agreement or any other agreement that may be substituted at any time by coming within five miles of the product or observing it through large telescopes or by any other means because you are such an easily cowed moron who will happily accept arrogant and unilateral conditions on a piece of bag of dog biscuits and is used solely at your own risk.'
[p. 118, the imp's warranty]
William wondered why he always dislike people who said "no offence meant". Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offence meant" than actually refrain from giving offence.
[p. 131, submitted by Dieter Boehm]
"Well, 'Legal' is my middle name," said Mr. Pin, shrugging. "Over to you, Mr. Tulip."
Mr. Tulip's arm moved in a blur. One banana-bunch hand caught the thief around the neck and slammed his head against the wall.
"Unfortunately, Mr. Tulip's middle name is 'Bastard,'" said Mr. Pin, lighting a cigarette.
[p. 139 of hardback, submitted by Ty Burgess]
"...and then I'm gonna get medieval on his arse."
There were more pressing problems, but this one intrigued Mr. Pin.
"How, exactly?" he said.
"I thought maybe a maypole," said Mr. Tulip reflectively. "An' then a display of country dancing, land tillage under a three-field system, everal plagues, and, if my ----ing hand ain't too tired, the invention of the ----ing horse collar."
[p. 139 of hardback, submitted by Ty Burgess]
When people say "clearly" something, that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.
[p. 169, submitted by Dieter Boehm]
Mister Vimes liked to refer to himself as a simple copper, just as Harry King thought of himself as a rough diamond. William suspected that the world was littered with the remains of those people who had taken them at their word.
[p. 311]
WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?
The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of potato.
SQUEAK, he said.
Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.
[p. 401]
"The right to free speech is a fine old Ankh-Morpork tradition."
"Good heavens, is it?"
"Yes, my lord."
"How did that one survive?"
[p. 425, submitted by Dieter Boehm]
'Things that are back to front are often easier to comprehend if they are upside down as well,' said Lord Vetinari [...]. 'In life as in politics.'
[p. 431]
Because nothing has to be true for ever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth.
[p. 444]